#MovieMonday: Fifty Shades of Grey

I have yet reached another lowest point of my life; I have decided to watched Fifty Shades of Grey instead of doing my presentation for my International Dispute Settlement class (ooh, interesting…NOT). To my defense, I have never read the book nor watched the movie, except for reading some excerpts from the book and/or cuts from the movie. Since I enjoy very much making fun of the series, I figure it was only fair that I, at least, gave the series a shot before I can fully make fun of it. I swore that I would never, not even if my life depended on it, read the series, but I might give the movie a chance; so these are my thought while I watched the movie this morning:

  1. Seriously Anastasia? How could you stumble and fall from entering a room?
  2. Wait, what? Christian Grey is actually 27? No way in freaking hell he’s 27. I’m 27 and I am living off of my scholarship money to survive in this foreign land. In what universe does Christian Grey lives? That does not seem fair at all.
  3. Why in God’s name does Anastasia kept on biting her lips? Surely her lips will be very dry by now, right? I mean, my lips get so very dry when I bite it.
  4. Ohh, Anastasia bites into the Grey’s pencil. Is that like a sexual innuendo kind of thing? I think it is. It has to be, right? What am I doing? Why am I so concern about this? Ugh!
  5. Wow! Anastasia reacts so vividly from Christian’s touch! Christian must have a magical touch, because not a chance in hell would someone reacts that vividly just from getting touched.
  6. Okay, I kind of get why some girls get all weak in the knees with Christian’s persona; I mean the idea that someone would just fly over ’cause they want to see you, or ride a helicopter for you or ride whatever that weird looking plane for you is kind of fascinating, but if it were me, I’d be a bit creeped out; then again, I’m not as clumsy as Anastasia.
  7. So, Anastasia basically has a working laptop with her that she uses to search about what being a submissive mean, yet she didn’t use the said laptop to search what a butt plug is? Oh, Anastasia, I am baffled.
  8. Anastasis fell asleep in Christian’s Audi car? How is that even possible? That does not look like a comfortable position to be sleeping. The seat is just too upright for someone to actually be sleeping.
  9. So, wait? What’s the whole purpose of the contracts if they’re just going to be doing it before Anastasia actually signed the contract? Someone should actually step up and be Anastasia’s lawyer or something.
  10. That’s it? Rita Ora only showed up for like what I presume less than 20 minutes? I mean, with the whole hyped up news people are making about Rita Ora being in the movie, I would have thought she would have played a more purposeful character in the movie. I don’t know the whole entire series, would she be anymore important in later series?
  11. Wait, now that I think about it, this movie does not have that many casts does it? I’ve been seeing the same person over and over again for the whole entire series.
  12. Why is it that I feel so very awkward every time I see Anastasia on screen? It’s like she exudes this awkwardness; if Dakota Johnson is not that awkward in real life then I would have to say that she might be quite a good actress.
  13. Okay, I honestly don’t think that Christian is the Dominant now. Even I can tell that Anastasia is the one who actually has the upper hand in the relationship. I mean, he said that he doesn’t share bed with anyone else and yet he share it with Anastasia. He gets all agitated when Anastasia text him saying ‘it was nice knowing him’, or when Anastasia didn’t picked up her phone when she went to Georgia. Dude, seriously, if you’re so worked up on being a Dominant, don’t freaking grovel. Or that’s what I think; I don’t know nor do I understand anything about BDSM. Is this like an accepted attitude? Beats me.
  14. Oh man, Anastasia is not being fair, does she? I mean, she’s the one who basically asked to be punished. She actually asked and I quote, “I need you to show me”, and she then got mad at him for actually showing her what she says she needed to be shown? Yeah, I can’t understand the logic. Enlighten me, Anastasia.
  15. Anastasia, the dude practically says that he wants no romance nor does he do romance, why are you pushing? Move the f on and find a less complicated guy that hopefully does not have a singular taste like Christian! I seriously can’t understand Anastasia; I also don’t know why do I bother trying to understand her.
  16. Through the whole movie I kept on cringing anytime Jamie Dornan utter a single word, he looks like he’s not enjoying acting anything out in this movie, but that part where he punished Anastasia? Well, I think he did a pretty good job. He looks so convincing to me; he totally looked like he’s getting something off of whipping Anastasia’s butt. He looks pleased and the whatnots. Probably the only time I actually gave my approval for this movie.
  17. Wait, what? The movie ends? What is this? Did I just watched the whole movie? Was there going to be more? Oh, it really ends; here comes the credit roll.
  18. Eventually, I still don’t get the hype. Help me out here…
  19. I have a question though; why didn’t Anastasi asked Christian how did his previous dom-sub relationship ended? I mean, he told her that there were fifteen women or something. Surely Anastasia could learn one or two about how the relationship progress, right? I mean, that would be one of my first initial questions had I been Anastasi, but then again I am not as hopelessly in need of a romance like Anastasia. What do I know?
  20. Do people really jog under heavy rain? The shirt must have been soaking wet and most probably instead of getting healthy, you’ll end up with a cold as a result, right?

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