things you may not want to know but i'm telling you anyway, Uncategorized

Expressing thyself.

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Express Yourself!.”

I guess expressing yourself is a bit overrated isn’t it? I went through angsty teenage years feeling pressured to be more expressive (whatever that means). Most people in my circle growing up thinks of expressing oneself as being more open and talkative about what one goes to; I, on the other hand, am not that inclined with the idea of talking about my feelings, not that I’m one of those tortured soul or anything. But, I do like to write since I was young; I channeled all my agony through writing and there was a point when I thought I was somewhat of a gifted writer (this was one of the many false reality I construct upon myself simply because I was complimented once and therefore believe in the notion that I was gifted on that particular activity).

I was given a certificate on my year three of Primary School; a form of congratulatory from my school at my attempt on writing a short story about a school of bees. At that point in my life, I have never been given any form of appreciation or any form of achievement whatsoever (not that after that point I was in anyway gaining a lot of achievement), so to actually was given one I was so ecstatic and since then on forward I believe that my sole purpose in life was to be this thought-provoking kind of writer. Little did I know that it takes more than just a piece of paper congratulating you for your short story back in Primary School to actually be able to be an acclaimed writer I intend to be.

After realising that I was not cut out to be a writer, I bury the dream six feet under; until I saw a post that says (or something like that) ‘to be a good writer, one must be a good reader first‘. So, I read my eyes out, besides I like reading anyway. The more I read, the more I realise that I am still nowhere close to be a writer I ever want but I became even more comfortable in writing (not to mention, thanks to reading, I have added a ton more words to my vocabulary than before I picked up reading seriously).

I realise that writing really is my best way of expressing myself, not to others though. I have never find the need to express or to explain myself to others but the feeling being able to write what I’m thinking or by coming up with something because of writing prompt is something that I enjoy and it does alleviate the stress that I have. Writing is as cathartic as punching a punching bag, when you’re done with your piece (be it good or bad, be it interesting or boring, be it worth the time to read or not), you feel a sense of a clean slate, like you’re ready to embark on new things or new activities and at this point I need more of that clean slate feeling.

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