on marriage, career and make up

A lot has happened since the last time I wrote something on this blog. Mainly it’s just me not getting far enough with my current read, but I am determined to finish this book by the end of the week. To be completely honest, I had the most bizarre week by far. Mostly it’s all in my dreams; one time I dreamed that the skin on my legs turned into snake scales (really, though, that is just downright bizarre), then the other time I dreamed that my sister was showing this liquid foundation thing (me dreaming of a make up is already weird in the first place) and she was shoving the thing on my face when it suddenly turned into red ants crawling over me (okay, I am still getting goosebumps from recounting this dream), then another time I dreamed that I was travelling to Switzerland all by myself and I was having the best time of my life when suddenly (get this) I’m actually in Malaysia, all along. Okay, I get that dreams are supposed to be bizarre and weird and made no sense whatsoever, but those dreams happened consecutively and I just don’t know what to make of it.

Now onto the first thing, marriage. I’ve written about two posts or something on marriage and why I’m not up for it. Just because I’m not up for it, does not mean I won’t do it. Eventually I will be married. I can see that happening for me. I just don’t think I’ll get married for the reasons that others would. I really don’t like making myself look distinct and different from the masses, but on this matter I have to think so. For me, marriage is like a business arrangement. And I had a friend who rolled their eyes when I said this. They said I took the romance out of marriage, err like it’s that a crime or something? If you’re getting married because you believe in romance or some sort of romantic ideals, then you do you, mate. When you go into business with someone, you’re putting your trust in that someone, you expect that that particular person won’t end up ruining the life out of you, and just generally you’re hoping all the best to come out of that business arrangement. As for me, the same goes into the expectations of if and when I do get married. So, tell me again, what is so wrong with my outlook on marriage?

Then there’s the whole family business when you eventually ended up going into some holy matrimony with your chosen person. For some really unknown reasons to me, it seems like it’s a drawn out affair, marriage I mean; and I’m not just talking about the wedding reception, but everything that comes before that. The meeting with the family, like all you had to do is bring your parents to meet with your partner’s parents, get to know each other and that’s that, right? Theoretically. For some really bizarre reasons, that’s not what happened. The meeting of the family became a long and drawn out affair where one family tries to outshine the other family and I just don’t see the point because it’s childish. And when you go against the stupidity, you get scolded by your elderly for going against tradition. Err, didn’t know that not wanting to be  childish is going against tradition.

Anyway, went to a cousin’s engagement party last week. Boy, was that such a waste of money, time, energy and just downright completely useless like those individually wrapped candies (like, seriously, can’t you just not wrapped the candies individually so I can just chomp on them continuously?). Here’s why:

  • we literally spent three consecutive weekends discussing (and I use this term very very lightly) on how the engagement party would go. Literally, three consecutive weekends!!! Why? Why? Some of us have work on weekdays, therefore those some of us would like their weekends to just go on sea cucumber mode (and by that, I mean me). And, it’s not just about sacrificing your weekends, this so called family meeting went into the odd hours of midnight! Like, who the fuck are still productive at that time of night? No, seriously, who?
  • by the time engagement day rolls around, everyone was already drained out of their life source, because they have sold their souls to the devils for three consecutive weekends (and by that, I mean me, again). Do you have any idea how it feels to go around family gathering when you just don’t have the energy or the wit to survive? Now, imagine having to go through that but with people you don’t know (GAH, THE HORROR!!). Oh, and get this, I had a smartypants who asked me about why am I wearing lipstick, because lipstick is for girls. Son, I am a girl and no, guys wear lipsticks too, so fuck off. See what I mean?
  • You think that engagement party is important? Fine. You do you. But this one particular engagement party is a total shit waste of money. My aunt literally spend a lot of money, for something that ends in less than three hours. Yep, you read that right. An event that ended in less than three hours took three weeks of preparations!!! THREE WEEKS OF PREPARATIONS FOR AN EVENT THAT LAST LESS THAN THREE HOURS!!! Please tell me it is a shit ton of waste on money, time and energy. It is completely unnecessary and frivolous. Mate, if I have shit ton of money to waste on frivolous activities, I might as well waste it on more concrete stuffs, gee, I don’t know, like a washing machine probably, or an air conditioner, or I don’t know, a HOUSE probably?

Look, I’m not saying I’m right and my cousin is an idiot, but I’m saying I don’t want to have to do those frivolous and drawn out affairs. I want things to just straight to the point, more like wham bham thank you mam! Do you know what I get from being incredibly rational with my choices? A glare, a yell, a finger pointed at me, and a strong accusation of a millennials that have no love for its tradition and cultures. Oh shut the front door, will ya?

Now, career. Ah the detestable word in my dictionary. Why do people make a big deal of a career? Because it measures up your success? Because if you don’t proper career, you’re not a successful person? Not even when in the span of your life, you have never hurt someone, steal from someone, cause harm to someone? So, anything good that you have contributed to society means nothing because you don’t have a career that would make someone thinks you’re a successful person?

People my age made it seem like your goal in life at this age is to advance your career, and pretty much anything that has something to do with career and/or job. And fine by me. Again, you do you. But, do refrain from rolling your ayes at people who chose not to go down your rabbit hole. Uh, that’s right. I personally think tying your existence in life to your career is like Alice going down the rabbit hole but never emerging again, and errday and errtime, she be smoking those weird ass thing with that caterpillar. The same goes for the need to always looking like your at the head of your game when you’re at work. I am so sick and tired of that. I just want to be living up the facade of enjoying my job and focusing on my career for a maximum of 10 hours a day (and that’s already a stretch). The other time, I just want to be a couch potato.

Now, I am not a make up guru (for God sake, I am far far far faaaarrraway from it), but I am building an interest in the vast array of options on make up. Apparently make up is fun, and by liking one does not make me any less than a hardworking woman that I am. I used to think that liking make up would made me less than who I am, that I would not be taken seriously by my male co-worker, because it’s already hard enough being a female in male centric job, you don’t need to be a female that spends too many time staring into the mirror checking on your make up. But then, I thought, fuck it!

I don’t live by people’s expectations and opinions. If I’m gonna wear a make up, I damn well will wear it. If then people would take me less seriously, than fuck you but that shitty thing you’re doing to me ain’t going to go into my head because I’m too damn stoke about my make up and nailing my job like a fucking pro that I am. And when I do fail at my job, that won’t be because of my make up, that would be because I fail and I din’t try hard enough. So, stop, please, from getting all surprised if you see me walk down one day with coloured lip or an eye liner, or a nice glowy dewy skin look, because, yes, surprise, the couch potato who couldn’t care less about what shirt she’s wearing to work actually enjoy a nice make up. Keep your judgemental sexism opinions to yourself, or I’ll be shoving it up your arse.



2 thoughts on “on marriage, career and make up

  1. i love the make up part, Dilch (i like this post but the make up part is my favorite). entah kenapa jadi inget Pertha, yang udah segitu ahlinya soal make up dan terbukti kepinterannya aja masih suka dianggap remeh, tapi dia bodo amat. orang yang mencibir kita pake make up itu either dia iri sama make up kita, atau sirik krn ga bisa pake make up, atau emang kehidupannya segitu ga asik aja sampe ngomentarin hal2 ga penting yang bukan urusannya dia.


    1. Hahaha, menurut gue sih emang kehidupan mereka kurang asik aja jadi kayak kudu banget ngomentarin orang. Sedih sih gue liat orang macam begitu ((sedih sambil mencibir balik)).


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