things you may not want to know but i'm telling you anyway

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One thing I’ve learned about people is that the easiest way to get them to like you is to shut up and let them do the talking. [Me and Earl and the Dying Girl, by Jesse Andrews]

People love to talk about themselves, as if they are the most interesting human being to ever grace this earth. I, of course, am no different than the rest of the people. I do, too, like to talk about myself; what better way to talk about oneself if not in one own’s blog? Besides, I’ve been running this blog for almost two years, and while I do tell a story about my life quite frequently here, I don’t necessarily share anything personal about me, so without further ado, here are ten interesting facts about yours truly.

Well, okay, interesting might be a bit far fetched, what with my twisted understanding of interesting to begin with. But, seriously, who’s going to stop me?

I can be sure that my family members would not agree to this being an interesting fact about me, what with being it’s very unladylike. But, seriously, this is quite interesting in the way that although I am not the most pleasant person to converse with, I am very fluent in cursing. I spent the better part of my college years perfecting the art of cursing. To this day, collecting cursing words is still my favourite past time. Given my line of work, I don’t think it is appropriate of me to curse (marvelling at it, might I add) but then again, it’s not like I curse at work, so that’s alright, right? Sure, I may have slipped a couple of damn or fuck once or twice, but whatever.


I’m not a big fan of surprises. I don’t like not being able to be in control. Now, the beauty of having things repeat itself is the fact that you can control the outcome as you can predict it like a proper seer. So, you may think repetition is boring, but not to me. I like tight schedule. I like to be able to predict what’s to come. Sounds like a control freak to you? Well, that’s because I am a control freak.


I do get angry a lot, and I can be very expressive with my curse words when somebody cross me, but never would I want to have it out in the open and go all caveman with the source of my anger. Seems like a cowardly thing to do? Maybe. But, on my defense, I just don’t like stooping to people’s low level by going into a big fight over petty things. I have a lot of pet peeves so it’s easy to cross me, and I just don’t think it is worth my time to always have to confront everyone and everything. Most people that knows me don’t believe this quite interesting fact, because I am pretty hot tempered, but really, having a full blown out of proportion confrontation with other people is not my style. But, if you want drama, I’ll bring you fucking broadway and, well, let’s just say most people who have seen my broadway, they pretty much regret having a fight with me.


Oh man, I don’t even know why I put this under interesting facts about me. But, it’s true. Those who are close to me know that once I fart, it’s like my body does not know how to stop. I just keep on farting, and let’s just say the fragrance is pretty peculiar. Ever smelled sulfur? Well, let’s just say my choo choo train smelled like that.


I hate awkward silences. Who doesn’t? I always get the feel that I am solely responsible to end all awkward silences around me. How do I do that? Joke about everything. Talk incessantly while coming up with incredibly ridiculous jokes along the way. Add a bit of sarcasm here and there. And really, this is basically what I did in almost all social situations when I don’t even know what to do or unable to figure out what the social conduct applicable on said situation. I would probably add unnecessary head nodding here and there. Really, mate, I am a social mess. I feel like I need to have a proper crash course on all social conduct for every situation.


Ha! You think for someone who cursed like it is their mother tongue, who also happens to be hot tempered but have no social cues whatsoever, I would have a better hobby but to brood. But, humour me here, brooding is in the top five of my hobbies (in random order, my hobbies are eating, reading, finding new curse words, brooding, and be a sarcastic git to people). I would just put on my brooding playlist and stare into nothingness with a forlorn look on my face and just, you know, generally brooding. I can’t really explain this, but I love to brood. Yeah, that’s it.


I don’t know if you know what pseudo-itch means, because I’m not even sure that’s the correct term for it. But let me explain first. Every time I’m stressed out (and this could be caused by infinite number of things from work to the mundane things like what the fuck am I suppose to do with my life? Like, shit, I really don’t have a plan), I get the feel like some parts of my body are itchy af (most prominent locations would be on my chin, my shin, my waist and my arms) and I would feel the urge to just go batshit crazy on scratching the itch away. Problem is, there are no possible source to the itch. It’s just something that my brain invented, and what happens then is I’ll get a spot on wound from all the excessive scratching. One time, I’m so stressed out about graduating college, I spent hours just scratching my pseudo-itch on my shin just to wake up the next morning with blood all over my bedsheet. Is this interesting or just downright gross?


I love making people laugh, but what I love more is making people laugh with my self deprecating jokes. People think I’m joking but there’s a truth somewhere. I don’t know how being very fluent in self deprecating jokes counts as an interesting fact, but there you have it.


Articles with lists are the best! That’s why I love the end of the year where people start making lists of best songs/movies/books etc. etc. I think the fact that you know how many things there are in the article gave me the calmness of knowing what I was in for (refer to my love of predictability).


Yaaaaasss, I love me some puns! No, really, I am crazy about puns! Pun is life! Puns are my source of happiness (that and also food, books and other things). Whenever I saw people making puns, I would get all giddy and be in a good mood, well at least for the next couple of minutes.


Well, there you have it, ten interesting facts about me. Again, interesting might be a word that is used pretty loosely here but I honestly don’t care.

cheers

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