#RetrospectSeries

July: in retrospect.

Three more days, mate. Three more days and I won’t be where I am today. Three long and excruciating days ahead. For months I’ve been dreading the day, and now there seems to be no point about dreading it, for the day shall come.

I have a lot going inside my mind right now, but it seems so hard to put into words. The anger, the sadness, the hollowness, the tears, the laughter, all seems like a blur; you know that it’s there, that it was what brought July came to life but it seems like a daunting task to bring it back to life once more.

I’m going to miss my family,

and as hard as it is to comprehend, I will most definitely miss them. Three years is a long time and 19,810 km is a huge gap to cross. I hope that the three years and the 19,810 km between us will not change us into a completely different human being. I would like to go back to the same Mum and Dad, brother and sister, aunts and uncle, and even cousins I have yet to enjoy the time spent with them.

I’m going to miss my husband,

and for all the bravado I’ve said about 8,985 km not being a problem, I have to accept that it is indeed far and a six hours time difference is hard to come by. I hope that the love and the commitment we’ve shared for the past six years serves as a strong foundation for what we’ve planned for our present and future.

I’m going to miss Elvis and Joplin,

and for all the tears I refused to shed when I last held the both of them last Sunday, I know that no one can be sure if three years is short enough for me to be able to hold you both again. I hope you stay strong and healthy, for you are my best of friends and that I have had the best time of my life giving my best for you both.

I’m going to miss my friends,

and for all the cold shoulder I seem to be giving them, I just don’t know how to best express how much going away this time around is very hard for me. I hope the best of everything for us, and that in three years time we will be a better version of who we are today and that we could pick up where we’ve left off.

I’m going to miss Jakarta,

and for all its traffic jam, this was the land where I was born and raised and I will always have that teeny tiny feeling of wanting to always come back here.


Here’s to the next big adventure to the unknown! 🍻

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