October: in retrospect

Another entry into the #RetrospectSeries, I feel like I am going to always be looking forward to this. I can’t believe it’s been three months since I came to Bogota (lies!).

To be completely honest it felt longer. I can’t believe it’s only three months!!!! It should have been longer!


Brb, whilst I scream in agony.

Right, I’m back.

Honestly I’m just tired.

I’m tired from the constant complaining, from the constant contemplating late at night at the mistakes I made, from the feeling of trying to pretend to be something I am not, from not being able to completely enjoy the beauty of solitude.

What I’m tired the most is from the feeling of regrets and realising that none of this is worth it.

I kept on going back to thinking, “had it all been worth it?”

“Was this all worth it? Was giving up on the chance to have a normal marriage life worth it? I gave up having a normal marriage life for this? This is what I chose over a normal marriage life? I chose to live thousands of km away, in different continent, halfway across the world from my husband for this?”

Seriously, what have I done?

All in all, October has been my least favourite month of this year since I arrived in Bogota. If not for the many travels, then for the fact that work has been incredibly hard. Nope, not that I can’t handle the workload. I’ll handle as much as I can, and so far it has been tolerable, but work is not always about your responsibilities, it’s also about where you work and who you work with.

I’ll let you take that however you want to take it. As for me, I’m just waiting for the next 33 months to be over.



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