Impromptu writing

What Amy said.

I have loved and I have lost, for love is an intangible thing. I have loved and I have lost, for there is no guarantee if you give out love, it will return to you. I have loved and I have lost, for I foolishly believed that love was mine for the taking. I have loved and I have lost, and Amy was right when she sang that love is a losing game.


Jakarta, 3 August 2017

 

#RetrospectSeries

July: in retrospect.

Three more days, mate. Three more days and I won’t be where I am today. Three long and excruciating days ahead. For months I’ve been dreading the day, and now there seems to be no point about dreading it, for the day shall come.

I have a lot going inside my mind right now, but it seems so hard to put into words. The anger, the sadness, the hollowness, the tears, the laughter, all seems like a blur; you know that it’s there, that it was what brought July came to life but it seems like a daunting task to bring it back to life once more.

I’m going to miss my family,

and as hard as it is to comprehend, I will most definitely miss them. Three years is a long time and 19,810 km is a huge gap to cross. I hope that the three years and the 19,810 km between us will not change us into a completely different human being. I would like to go back to the same Mum and Dad, brother and sister, aunts and uncle, and even cousins I have yet to enjoy the time spent with them.

I’m going to miss my husband,

and for all the bravado I’ve said about 8,985 km not being a problem, I have to accept that it is indeed far and a six hours time difference is hard to come by. I hope that the love and the commitment we’ve shared for the past six years serves as a strong foundation for what we’ve planned for our present and future.

I’m going to miss Elvis and Joplin,

and for all the tears I refused to shed when I last held the both of them last Sunday, I know that no one can be sure if three years is short enough for me to be able to hold you both again. I hope you stay strong and healthy, for you are my best of friends and that I have had the best time of my life giving my best for you both.

I’m going to miss my friends,

and for all the cold shoulder I seem to be giving them, I just don’t know how to best express how much going away this time around is very hard for me. I hope the best of everything for us, and that in three years time we will be a better version of who we are today and that we could pick up where we’ve left off.

I’m going to miss Jakarta,

and for all its traffic jam, this was the land where I was born and raised and I will always have that teeny tiny feeling of wanting to always come back here.


Here’s to the next big adventure to the unknown! 🍻

Rambling about books

Book review: Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (20th Anniversary Edition), by J. K. Rowling

Celebrate 20 years of Harry Potter magic with four special editions of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone. Gryffindor, Slytherin, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw …

Twenty years ago these magical words and many more flowed from a young writer’s pen, an orphan called Harry Potter was freed from the cupboard under the stairs – and a global phenomenon started. Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone has been read and loved by every new generation since. To mark the 20th anniversary of first publication, Bloomsbury is publishing four House Editions of J.K. Rowling’s modern classic. These stunning editions will each feature the individual house crest on the jacket and sprayed edges in the house colours. Exciting new extra content will include fact files, profiles of favourite characters and line illustrations exclusive to that house. Goodreads.

Continue reading “Book review: Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (20th Anniversary Edition), by J. K. Rowling”

Rambling about books

Book review: North Korea Undercover, by John Sweeney

Award-winning BBC journalist John Sweeney is one of the few to have witnessed at first hand the devastating reality of life in the controversial and isolated nation of North Korea.

Posing as a university professor, Sweeney went undercover to gain unprecedented access to the world’s most secret state. He spoke to people who have seen the horrific dark side of the regime and saw things which have been hidden for years from the eyes of the western world: huge factories with no staff or electricity; hospitals with no patients; uniformed child soldiers; and the world-famous and eerily empty DMZ – the De-Militarized Zone where North Korea ends and South Korea starts – all framed by the relentless flow of regime propaganda from omnipresent loudspeakers.

Sweeney also visited South Korea and met defectors from the North who told him the other side of the story: gulags within a gulag state, dire poverty, blunted lives, hideous torture, effective infanticide of disabled babies, stick-limbed children dying of famine and mass graves of political prisoners that could only be dug when the spring thaw set in.

With the world’s eyes focused on North Korea, Sweeney’s timely account is a stunning piece of reportage from the country the author describes as the strangest place he’s ever visited. A combination of first person experiences, new and revealing interviews, and history, North Korea Undercover examines the country’s troubled history and provides a window into life there today. Goodreads.

Continue reading “Book review: North Korea Undercover, by John Sweeney”

Rambling about books

Book review: The House Between Tides, by Sarah Maine

Following the death of her last living relative, Hetty Deveraux leaves London and her strained relationship behind for Muirlan, her ancestral home in Scotland’s Outer Hebrides. She intends to renovate the ruinous house into a hotel, but the shocking discovery of human remains brings her ambitious restoration plans to an abrupt halt before they even begin. Few physical clues are left to identify the body, but one thing is certain: this person did not die a natural death.

Hungry for answers, Hetty discovers that Muirlan was once the refuge of her distant relative Theo Blake, the acclaimed painter and naturalist who brought his new bride, Beatrice, there in 1910. Yet ancient gossip and a handful of leads reveal that their marriage was far from perfect; Beatrice eventually vanished from the island, never to return, and Theo withdrew from society, his paintings becoming increasingly dark and disturbing.

What happened between them has remained a mystery, but as Hetty listens to the locals and studies the masterful paintings produced by Theo during his short-lived marriage, she uncovers secrets that still reverberate through the small island community—and will lead her to the identity of the long-hidden body. Goodreads.

Continue reading “Book review: The House Between Tides, by Sarah Maine”

Rambling about books

Book review: Two Years Eight Months and Twenty-Eight Nights, by Salman Rushdie

In the near future, after a storm strikes New York City, the strangenesses begin. A down-to-earth gardener finds that his feet no longer touch the ground. A graphic novelist awakens in his bedroom to a mysterious entity that resembles his own sub-Stan Lee creation. Abandoned at the mayor’s office, a baby identifies corruption with her mere presence, marking the guilty with blemishes and boils. A seductive gold digger is soon tapped to combat forces beyond imagining.

Unbeknownst to them, they are all descended from the whimsical, capricious, wanton creatures known as the jinn. Centuries ago, Dunia, a princess of the jinn, fell in love with a mortal man of reason. Together they produced an astonishing number of children, unaware of their fantastical powers, who spread across generations in the human world.

Once the line between worlds is breached on a grand scale, Dunia’s children and others will play a role in an epic war between light and dark spanning a thousand and one nights – or two years, eight months, and twenty-eight nights. It is a time of enormous upheaval, in which beliefs are challenged, words act like poison, silence is a disease, and a noise may contain a hidden curse. Goodreads.

Continue reading “Book review: Two Years Eight Months and Twenty-Eight Nights, by Salman Rushdie”

#RetrospectSeries

June: in retrospect.

Ah the dreaded July is coming tomorrow, which means I literally only have a month left to wallow in self pity before I actually have to pull my shit together and actually face the music, that is to say actually accept the fact that I am indeed moving to Colombia. Yay?

I still hate spending Eid Fitr.

Now don’t get all your knickers in a twist. I don’t hate the day, but I hate the activities and the things that happened on Eid Fitr. In Eid Fitr, I am supposed to spend it with the whole lot of family, and although they can be bearable (if I really try my best), more often than not, they are shitload of troubles; what with the nagging, the complaining, the whining, and the “let’s-pretend-we-all-like-each-other-for-a-day-but-comes-tomorrow-we-would-all-pretend-we-don’t-know-each-other-until-next-Eid-Fitr“. It’s just tiring. I am not even remotely nice on my good days, imagine how horrible I am on my bad days, especially when I have to pretend that I’m okay?

Apparently logic doesn’t exist.

I was asked whether or not I have finally been impregnated, even it is clear as a crystal that I haven’t met my husband for four consecutive months. Two things why this bothers me; (1) what I do and what I don’t do in the bedroom with my husband is my personal shit to deal with, please don’t poke around; (2) why the fuck would I be pregnant after not meeting my husband for four consecutive months? Would that not be posing another question as to whose kids would the baby be? But you know what? Fuck logic, because people seems to just want to see every couple to be pregnant, because it’s so interesting to know that people have sex and are expecting kids.

I guess not everyone is familiar with the concept of cause and effect.

I was compared with a neighbour’s kid the other day by me Mum. And then I was compared again with another kid by me Mum. The problem is that, it seems that my Mum might have forgotten that things just doesn’t happen because it wants to happen, things happen because there is something that triggers it. Hence the concept of cause and effect. Exhibit A; you can’t expect the kids to want to spend time together all the time when we were raised to not found comfort in spending time together, ergo the effect (not enjoying time together) is because of the preliminary cause (being raised not to enjoy time spent with family).

When cornered, just throw someone else under the bus (except that, you shouldn’t).

First off, let me tell you that this matter was actually already resolved but I feel the need to note this on my retrospect series, because after all this did happened in June. There was a time when my sister was cornered by our Mum regarding a certain delicate matter. After repetitive follow up questions from our Mum and she couldn’t handle it no more, she did the next best shitty thing; threw someone else under the bus, and that someone else is none others than yours truly. Look, this is just shitty move; first of all, I did not partake in the any decision that my sister made, and suddenly I’m playing shield for her to threw our Mum off of her? Yeah, pretty shitty if you ask me. I talked it out with her and she was sorry, but let this be a lesson that never, not in any circumstances, should you throw anybody under the bus when you are cornered, especially if the other party knows nothing about your situation, or even if they knew still don’t do shit like that.

I am seven days away from RAM coming home!

Okay, that’s just self explanatory.


Well, there goes my June. I’m not going to be cliche about welcoming July or anything, especially since I just want the earth to open up and swallow me whole before July comes around. And yes, I was being dramatic and I was speaking figuratively.