I see him.

I see him everywhere I look.

I see him in the roads that I take, in the buildings that I visits.

I see him in the empty seat.

I see him in the doors that I lock.

I see him in the slippers that were left behind.

I see him in the way that he fixed the bed for me.

I see him in the clothes that he hangs when he irons my clothes.

I see him in the chocolates that he bought on a whim.

I see him in the Advil that he no longer needs.

I see him in every corner of the house where he used to lay down, sit down, wash the dishes.

I see him in the neighbourhood that he loves.

I see him in my phone setting because he used to beg to have an internet connection when we’re out and about.

I see him in the blue sky, because I used to tell him, “hey, look at the clouds. Take a picture of it. It looks so surreal.”

I see him in the stupid way people drive their car, because I usually cussed and he would hold my hands and say, “hey, I know they’re stupid, but we’re here together. It’s going to be fine.”

I see him every time I close the door, because usually he’s there with his arms stretched open, welcoming me in a hug as if to say, “hey, we’re here, we’re safe, the day is over, and there’ll be better days tomorrow for us.”

 

 

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enrol.

impromptu-writingI enrol in the school of life not because I want to, but because I had to. One does not go about walking in this life without enrolling in the school of life. In this school of life, one undergoes series of classes that changes your shape into that of others’ before you. They say, be different because everybody else is taken. But if I’m not what they want me to be, I am ostracised from the rest and made to swallow little pills supposedly doing me good than harm. Must I stay when it’s not even my decision to be here in the first place? Must I be punished for the acts of those before me? Must I be made square when all I want is to be fluid?


Impromptu writing inspired by this prompt.

I am my own hero.

I am the hero of the story,

I don’t need to be saved.

My first name is glory,

there is nothing I won’t braved.

I have lived in a quarry,

and freedom is what I craved.

To survive is obligatory,

and its road has been paved.

Bogotá, 20 October 2017


This impromptu writing is inspired by this prompt.

What Amy said.

I have loved and I have lost, for love is an intangible thing. I have loved and I have lost, for there is no guarantee if you give out love, it will return to you. I have loved and I have lost, for I foolishly believed that love was mine for the taking. I have loved and I have lost, and Amy was right when she sang that love is a losing game.


Jakarta, 3 August 2017

 

Impromptu writing: I fear for her.

I fear for her.

I dread the day that golden eyes shine no more.

I dread the day that face would scrunch no more.

I fear for her.

What if she no longer comes when I called for her?

What if she no longer there when I need to hug her?

I fear for her.

I do not wish her to be alone.

I do not wish her to groan.

I fear for her.

She deserves more.

She deserves to soar.

I fear for her,

for I will be gone

and it would feel like eon.

I fear for her,

but I fear for myself more.

If the end should come,

I see myself turning numb.


Jakarta, 15 June 2017

Impromptu writing: Young Lady, you’re scaring me.

Young Lady, you’re scaring me,

with your deep sighs and your vacant lifeless eyes.

Young Lady, you’re scaring me,

with your raging anger and words that cut like knives.

Young Lady, you’re scaring me,

with your many faces and what each implies.

Young Lady, you’re scaring me,

for I don’t really know who you really are.


Jakarta, 15 June 2017

Temp.

Everything is temporary. My health, my joy, my sorrow, my money, and my life. Nothing ever lasts forever. But it doesn’t make it any easier, does it?

If anything, it makes it harder to go by.

Knowing that my sorrow is temporary, I focus too much on when it will all blow over, forgetting the important lessons offered by my sorrow.

Knowing that my health is temporary, I worry too much on every step I take that I forgot to enjoy what I have. Then I chastise myself, only to take my health for granted, for what good is a good health if you can’t make the best of it.

Knowing my joy is temporary, I am much too preoccupied at being angry at why I can’t always be happy.

Knowing that the money I owned is temporary, I scrutinized all my spending only to be tired of it all and just spend it so long as I have the means to do so.

Knowing my life is temporary, I pretend like I don’t care but the thought plague my mind ever since.

So, nothing is really forever?

Fear not, for the cycle of stupidity is forever. One man down, another is ready to continue the cycle of stupidity until the world comes to its end.

Maybe.

Who knows?

I sure don’t.


A/N. Impromptu writing is written without a plan at hand by continuously typing the things that crosses one’s mind. It was not meant to be understood, it is a practice for the mind when everything seems so clustered that one cannot control one’s own train of thoughts.

This one is written with Basic Tape’s No Matter playing in the background.