February, what’s good?

It’s insane to think that in just 28 days I have gone through one of the worst roller coaster ride of 2019, and it’s not a literal roller coaster, in case you’re wondering. Oh you think I am exaggerating? Well, I’ll list it for you and I’ll let you be the judge.

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things you may not want to know but I'm telling you anyway

Happy birthday, Ayah.

As I pedal my bike on my way to work, I can feel the sweat sliding down the side of my face. I can also feel the snot winding its way down my nose, as it was a cold morning that day. I struggle with my breathing; I haven’t biked to work in quite some time. I told my beating heart to steady itself, lest I would collapse from the exercise itself. After quite some time, I have found my rhythm and biking became easier as I got nearer to the office.

On my way back home, the ride was easier as the road goes downhill. I feel the scream of the night’s wind in my ear; relishing the freedom that biking had given me the past few months. As I rode the bike, I thought that after one in a half year in Bogota, I have finally found the one thing that keeps me grounded, biking. I am glad that I knew how to ride a bike.

And that is when it hits me, my dad had taught me how to ride a bike. Insist on it, might I add.

Continue reading “Happy birthday, Ayah.”

January, what’s good?

Yes, it has come to my attention that I have failed to follow up on what I promise I would. I don’t have any other way to explain it other than saying, life gets in a way and by the time I realised I haven’t done what I should have done, I’m too lazy to do it.

I can’t believe we are finally in February, after what I felt to be the longest January ever. Honestly, how is it that there are 31 days in January but it felt it’s been three months in?

For most of January, I felt like in a limbo. RAM has finished his assignment in Nigeria, and will continue his assignment in South Korea. Whilst the distance is awful for the both of us, I am super excited about his new assignment and I feel the 14 time difference will actually work and bode well for us, rather than the 6 hour time difference before.

RAM did stop over to Bogota, Colombia, for a week before he went back to Jakarta in preparation for his new assignment. And, whilst living together wasn’t something new to us, the seven days that he was with me in Bogota made me realise how much having someone you love around is one of the most beautiful thing in life. That having someone you love around you will surely make everything bearable. Unfortunately, it was not to last, because we don’t live in fairy tales.

You know what? I am going to say it. I thought in 2019 we would all learn from our past mistakes and be better. But, nope. Some people are still a jerk. Some people are still so oblivious that they fell victim to the same hole, twice.

I had my co-worker caressed my back where my bra line should be, and caress my hand and fingers. Do you think that’s harassment? Because I do. I did not want to be touched in those areas. It made me uncomfortable. And there was never enough reason or justification that said co-worker should caress those areas of my body.

Unfortunately, much like cases of harassment, not much a victim can do. There were not enough proof other than my own experience. And not to say that my experience is not valid, but we all know harassment cases are always a ‘he said, she said‘ case; one that goes on forever until one or the other person broke and gave up.

I’m angry at the injustice of it all. I’m angry at my inability to fight for what is right and just. I’m angry at my inability to protect myself, much less other people in my shoes.

At the end of the day, I learned that people sucks. People sucks so bad. Especially people with power. They will crush you into dust and blew you away because you are so insignificant. But I also learned that I am not alone. That I can get help. And that sometimes, all it takes for you to stand up straighter and taller is to say NO with pride and conviction.

I can’t change the world, but I can change myself. I may be a victim (again) to harassment, but this time around I am going to say no, louder, stronger, and fiercer, because, by God, if you don’t say no, you’ll hate yourself again.

So, yeah, January has not been the best of month, even with having RAM around for a good solid seven days. I’m not holding it against January or anything, because we all know when you hate something with a passion, anything that revolves around it will become the things that are not favourable no matter how you look at it.



November, what’s good?

Four days late, but I have a completely good reason for the lack of posting and for being late this month. I have been on a two weeks holiday to meet up with my husband. We met up in Tokyo, Japan, along with our two friends also. I cannot even begin to tell you how excited I am for the holiday, for a break from the constant misery of living alone in Bogota. That being said, the downside to going on a holiday is that when one is back, one is overcome with extreme holiday hangover. Waking up this morning at 6.30 AM, after going to sleep at 2.00 AM (I’m guessing it’s the jetlag taking over), made me feel like in a daze. Just a day before, I woke up to the grey sky of Tokyo, accompanied by the hustling and bustling of everyone going to work on a Monday morning, and comes Tuesday, I am on my bed, in my apartment, opening my curtain to the blue sky of Bogota and I feel nothing but dread.

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October, what’s good?

Do you know how each week I exaggerated things, by going on to say, “oh this has been a crazy/hectic/roller coaster month,” but then come the next month I would probably say the same thing about the month at hand? Yeah, I know, I do that a lot, but I kid you not, October is just bizarrely crazy, hectic, and such a roller coaster. It’s the triple threat of a month!

Okay, dilchh, calm yourself down. Surely it’s not that much, eh?

But, see, the thing is, October is really just crazy! And hectic! And such a roller coaster!

Continue reading “October, what’s good?”